Lean Into Your Fear

When was the last time you did something that scared you? 

I’ll go first. Last weekend, I participated in an author festival at my local library. (You probably already know this because I haven’t shut up about it since I found out that I was going to be participating back in February.)

I was scared for several reasons: 

1. I’ve been hesitant to call myself an author because I don’t have any books published.

2. I’ve never participated in something like this before and didn’t know what to expect. 

3. I didn’t know how people would respond to my work. 

I’m pleased to say I didn’t need to worry about any of these things. I am absolutely overwhelmed and humbled by the support I received from you, my readers, at this event. Nearly twenty people that subscribe to my blog came out to see me at the event. Throughout the entire two hours, I kept seeing familiar faces coming through. I haven’t felt so loved or heard in a long time. 

Me with my table set up at the author fair.

Fear 1

I’ve been hesitant to call myself an author because I don’t have any books published. Most often, I think of authors as being writers who have written a book, but this isn’t the case. It’s someone who writes something literary, which I do—often. 

Just last week, I found out that I won first place in the Virginia Writers Club annual Golden Nib competition for my personal essay, “Forgotten Places.” Prior to that, I’ve had literary works published in journals and online. I’ve earned the title of author, and I’m going to use it. 

Fear 2

I’ve never participated in something like this before and didn’t know what to expect. There is always a little fear associated with anything new. I’m happy to say that this fear was halfhearted. I generally love trying new things and meeting people. Anytime I take a personality test, I always end up about 50/50 as an introvert and extrovert (an ambivert?). I digress. 

While I was nervous about participating in something new, I was more excited about meeting other authors, seeing my readers, and introducing myself to members of the community. This event turned out to be a great opportunity to do those things. 

Fear 3

I didn’t know how people would respond to my work. This has always been something I’ve worried about and probably always will be. I work in marketing. Therefore, how an audience receives my message is really important to me—my job depends on it. But I write my blog primarily for myself. 

One passerby asked me what I write about, and I was able to give her a confident answer: family, religion, and creativity. She didn’t seem too keen on the idea of reading about religion, and she didn’t take a business card or sticker. And that’s okay. I know my work isn’t for everyone, but I still want to share it. 

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I’ve been leaning into my fear a lot lately. For years, actually. And I can confidently say that it does get easier. 

I’m the leader of the prayer team at my church. It’s a volunteer position, and my role is mostly administrative—scheduling volunteers for Sunday services, sending out reminders, and planning yearly gatherings for the team. Our team is available to pray with parishioners during the service, and we maintain a lively group chat throughout the week where we share prayer requests and praises. 

I didn’t know what I was doing when I accepted the leadership position. The couple who was heading up the team needed to offload some things from their schedule to focus on their wellbeing, and I took over, wanting to help them more than anything. I’ve always been passionate about prayer, but I’d never considered doing any type of ministry, even in a volunteer capacity.

It’s been over a year now, and this small leadership role has become easier over time, but it has also grown. It’s more than an administrative role for me—it’s a way to connect with people in the church, both on and off my team. I try to check-in with every member of my team personally every few weeks, and this has led to some very sweet relationships. I’ve also become a listening ear and advocate to people who need prayer during the services.

We all have opportunities or situations in our lives that scare us or make us uncomfortable. And while there are some circumstances where you should go with your gut, there are other circumstances when you should ignore it. It’s hard to know when you should listen to your fear and when you should push through it, but I’ve found asking myself these questions helps me decide: 

• Am I afraid of what other people will think of me? 

• Is there a risk of injury or harm?

• Does this align with my values? 

By asking myself these three questions, I’m usually able to determine what route I should take. 

All of this goes to say, I was afraid of participating in the author festival, but I did it anyway because I knew my fears were based on how others would perceive me. There was no risk of injury or harm, and going to a literary event definitely aligned with my values. The only thing that would prevent me from doing it would be myself. 

Again, I’m blown away by the support I received on Saturday and all the love I’ve seen on my Facebook page and in my email inbox. I treasure every comment and note I receive from my readers. I’m grateful for each and every one of you!

So what’s one thing you’ve been afraid to try? Share it with me in the comments.